i will not be the girl...

I haven't properly updated in a month. I'm on LJ every day, apparently I just lurk now.

Life has been really good the last couple of weeks. Thursday was the meteor shower, and enough (but less than I would have liked) people showed up, and the meteors were AWESOME, so it was really fun. And then yesterday my mom and I and my Other Sisters and Other Mother (#2) went tubing down a river for four hours, just lazing around. Twas grand.

The Inappropriate Older Man is recently back from Peru. I have to see him soon since I am leaving for Portland in A WEEK. Crazy.

Work is really fun--I adore one of the guys I work with and like a few others quite well. It's sad to think we'll probably not talk much after a week, especially since he doesn't use facebook that much. :(

( lots of information on my weird-from-the-outside relationship plus a bit of panic )

Anyway. Happier things. Anniversary with Other Sister tonight = Olive Garden then girlygirlygirly sleepover reminiscing about our former days. Seeing the Inappropriate Man sometime soon. Going back to Ptown in a week. ♥

It's the beginning of summer.

Yesterday was pretty and we had so many people over to drink Black Eyed Susans and watch the Preakness while making inappropriate jokes about the horse names and the lyrics to Maryland, My Maryland.

Then today was Miss Lisa's with most of les filles (aka Best Friend and astropixie, just missing Flo, who, being in France, has a legitimate excuse), then sitting on my porch in the sun, talking. Met Mrs. R's new boyfriend. Watched the Tigers win.

Then changed into a bathing suit and lounging in the sun for hours. Literally hours. Read a bit (of Hotel New Hampshire), wrote a bit, slept a bit. Now burgers (off the grill!) and corn on the cob, and Other Sisters are coming over to lounge in the sun some more. It is such a summer day.

In other news: I think I have to accept that writing for teenage girls is okay, because parts of my novel from freshman year are really good (she said modestly). I'm good at sexual tension, it turns out (my short story professor told me so once). And I'm good at flirtation and sappiness. It seems like a shoe-in for writing for teenage girls.

Sorry I haven't been around much, internets. I'm being lurky lately.

In 8 DAYS I get to go home, and I've hit the point where I want to stay here like I want a hole in the head. AKA I wish I was flying to Cleveland on the 7th, like my dad had first proposed. I wonder if you can change your ticket for free? I'll look into it.

It's just that I miss my friends. I don't have friends here like I do at home. I mean, I love them, of course, but there are things I would never tell them, things I wouldn't talk to them about, and things they honestly don't care about when I do. Maybe it's just me, but I'll listen to my friends talk about *anything* if that's what's important to them.

I've also just been made sad by a soccer game we went to where I got beer thrown on me for being classy. Basically I refused to tell the other team of professional athletes that they suck just because they had tied the game. Apparently that makes me an asshole. But Roommate Boy and his brother were rather sweet to me (especially his brother), even if the Boyfriend and Texas were not. Hooray group dynamics that encourage hate!

In happier news, three days and I'll be done with my junior year of college! And my mom might have a part time job for me for the first month that I'm home, and then I'm in the running to get a job for the rest of the time, too. That would be fan-damn-tastic. I'm really excited for summer.

One of numerous goals for the summer: submit something for publication.

Oh, friends, my spring break was so wonderful!

( behind a cut for your convenience )

It all was rather fantastic. I was very happy, and The Boyfriend has been less stressed out of late, meaning he is being completely adorable. My mom says she knows when we're getting along because apparently I talk more like him on the phone. I'm not really sure what that means, but it's kind of sickly cute anyway.

FINISHED MY FIC FOR bsg_remix!!!! It's my first time doing it, and I really liked it. I've offered to pinch hit if they need me, too. I miss writing.

I think I'm going home for the summer. I love it out here, and I know I'll miss people either way, but that's home. I always wanted to do big things with my life, but it turns out the biggest things in my life are the people. Summer will always be that house and that beach and everyone who shows up at that beach. Memorial Day softball games and Wednesdays at Wisners'. The more I travel, the more I realize I want to go home. The world is beautiful, and everyone should see as much of it as they have a chance to; I have wanderlust, but I have a home, too.

And I think this to myself every summer, but I'm really going to do it this time: write a lot and lose weight. I think I'm going to start biking around with a chair and a notebook and just stop and write wherever I feel like it. And eat from the Farmer's Market like it's my job.

Other Sister and I were talking on FB the other day, and we've realized we can do whatever we want with our lives, as long as we can feed ourselves. I feel like most of the time when you're told you can do whatever you want, it means, "Go accomplish big things." But we can also accomplish little things. We don't have to go save the world if that's not what we want; we can live in our little dinky small hometown with the people we've known our entire lives doing what we love, and that's okay. You're not a failure if you return to your hometown. I think it's good to leave it at some point, because you don't know what's out there if you don't, but it's always okay to go back.

♥

On Happy Pets on Facebook, I breeded my cats and the baby's finally grown enough to name, and Facebook suggested I name it Leia. How could I resist? Leia, the daughter of Gatsby and Mrs. Landingham. :D

Apparently I haven't posted anything but memes and a fic since New Year's. Oops.

My New Year's was amazing. All of my friends bailed on me (not amazing) and so I went to a family friend's with my parents and got drunk with a bunch of fifty year olds. We played word games and I kicked their asses. Twas grand.

Since New Year's, not much. Lazing around. Hanging with my Other Family. Enjoying coldness and familiarity.

And then today my dad got his knee replaced, which is kind of a big deal. It went really well. He'll either be out of the hospital Thursday or Friday, so my life's planned around that. Going in early tomorrow to be there for his PT. I'm gonna skip out for lunch etc. with a friend, give my dad some peace and have some fun myself.

( This is the week of men actually )

Back to school on the 14th. I can't wait.

bsg_pornbattle. My life is so win.

This was probably my favorite Christmas Eve ever. In recent memory at least.

The party we do every year was big and fun and I got to see the Best Friend and her family. Basically got to see all of my "Other Families." The Best Friend's little sister called me her "other older sister", which was fun. There was good food and good friends and good conversation all around.

Afterward we went to my other family's (my real other family, as in, the dad would walk me down the aisle if my dad couldn't) party. Just me and my dad went, but it was still lovely. Saw a lot of the same people who had been at our party, plus a few extras. And there were more young'uns at this one. Including this family...Oh goodness. A very cool, very pretty mom, plus three absolutely gorgeous boys. The eldest is basically the fantasy of every girl who's known him. The middle is scary badass sniper in the British Army but completely adorable and funny. The youngest was my best friend in preschool and has grown up to be *fiiiiiiiiiiine*. But again, it's the eldest who's everyone's fantasy, me included, and we got flirty over the summer and flirty again.

Plus, it was nice to be with people who I could hug or lean on or anything. I missed human contact in Africa.

After that party it was church, which I haven't been to in literally years, because Mom was involved in the service. It was short and I drew baseball diamonds on my church bulletin like I used to do when I was a little kid. Pretty good.

Came home, opened the standard pajamas that we get on Christmas Eve (mine are cute and warm and fuzzy) and now bed. Haven't wrapped anything (everything's going in bags though, so it's no big). Will wake up early to finish everything, and Christmas will be a lazy pajama day.

Everything is icing over. I think my driveway is trying to kill me.

ETA: PS- All I want for Christmas is more Space Epic. Hint hint. :D

I'M HOME.

Like actually home. I slept in my bed last night and now I've snuggled with my dog and cat and my daddy made fresh squeezed orange juice and pineapple cookies and a fire in the fireplace! The LAKE is beautiful. I've watched Jeopardy and we'll probably watch at least some of the Spartans game tonight (but we've got a party to go to so we can't watch the whole thing). It's surreal, how normal this is.

I'm very very very very happy to be here. Meeting up with les filles (the three best friends from high school) did not work for today but will hopefully work for tomorrow. At some point probably within the next couple days I'll do coffee with the IOM, and maybe with some other people too. I don't think there's enough snow for sledding, but there should be soon. Plus, it's almost Christmas! We have a tree and all our Santas out and everything. Life is good.

( However, our travels had some problems. )

It really was so surreal. I don't remember what my life was like in America--how weird is that? I think I will probably spend most of my time reading and writing and interneting, which is probably pretty similar to my life before.

Our parents, plus Emily's sister and her boyfriend, met us at the airport. My mom had a sign that said, "Karibu mtoto mzuri" or "Welcome beautiful/good/nice child." It was sweet. There were tears and flowers and balloons and pineapple cookies. We picked up my sister (and her cat) from her apartment, and headed home.

It's really great. I love my family and I love this place and I'm so happy to be here. I feel like the best thing I learned about going away is how much I love this place and these people and this life.

The Boyfriend is coming in 4 days. There's a party tonight then another one at our place for Christmas Eve. Coffee and friends and maybe sledding before then. Ooh, and a haircut tomorrow! I get my bangs again!

PLUS: THANKS TO coffeesuperhero, leiascully, and foxylovesme FOR THE HOLIDAY CARDS! They're on my mantle. :D

I have finished rereading The Great Gatsby. Just as wonderful as I remember. As you read it there's a feeling, no matter what part you're reading, an ineffable hope, joy, anticipation. I want to write that.

Had a bonfire yesterday. Not many people showed up, and the Best Friend was sort of a huge bitch, and then tried to throw it off like she wasn't. I don't think she realizes I'm mad at her, but I'm a bit done with it. Not going to be the one who makes an effort anymore. It's funny, because she's sort of turning into what Flo used to be, when Flo drifted out of our lives for a bit. And now I see Flo every Wednesday, not even necessarily by my suggestion. Such is life, I suppose. I love them both desperately still, differently, but desperately. Who knew I'd meet the people I want to spend the rest of my life with in middle school?

This weekend has been glorious. Sunshine and Gatsby. I'm tanner than usual and my hair is getting blonde. I think I will come back from Africa physically different, as well as everything else different.

Went skinny dipping for the first time in OVER A YEAR last night. Around 1 am or so. It really is one of the greatest things in the world. The water itself is one of the greatest things in the world. I don't think I can ever leave this place with singing sands and water without salt.

Fangirls, you should come visit me. We have room. Next summer, maybe? I realize it will be a little ridiculous, as I live with my parents in the summers, but you really should come visit me. The sunsets have been glorious and the water has been warm and clean and friends should abound.

♥

Summer is treating me relatively well, except for the fact that no one is hiring. I have no job and basically do nothing all day, which is good, in and of itself, but also gets boring. I have to motivate myself to write, every day. That is what I am going to work on. I want this to be the summer of words, both reading and writing. I think tomorrow I may delete my internets for at least half the day so I get other things done.

I have, however, been successfully motivated to work out. I've only lost 4 pounds, but hey--I lost 4 pounds! So that's exciting. I've taken to walking with my mom at least twice a week. Legit walking I mean, not moseying around or anything. I've been lax on going to the gym lately, but walking is so great, and it's outdoors and everything. Only problem is that sometimes I miss the feeling of working out until I'm exhausted in a good way. So I'll probably continue my gym classes.

Memorial Day Weekend was positively glorious. We had our annual softball game on Sunday, and actually had enough people to field two teams. Normally we just rotate from positions to batting because we don't get enough people. It was really fun though, except I sort of clobbered my Other Father (the guy who's basically a dad to me, even though he's not). I was coming from 2nd to 3rd and realized he was going to have the ball before I got there but also was in the base path. So haha, I'll run him over, it'll be funny. Except we both put our heads down and he ended up with a nasty black eye. I learned my face doesn't bruise very easily, though sometimes I forget we collided and rub my eye or something and it's basically OUCH. Twas quite grand though. After softball we had lazing around and cooking out at my house. I went swimming for the first time. Cold but glorious. Definitely a good thing after being so hot from softball.

Tomorrow I'm going back in to all the places I applied to tell them I'm still interested and they should probably hire me kthxbai. That won't be fun.

I've finished Battlestar. Third season is obviously the best. Also, did anyone else think of Santa Claus when Chief was talking about going north to some place cold and without people? It made me laugh.

I love Starbuck. I love finding new amazing female characters to adore. They always remind me that I have to create my own. I have bits and pieces of a character in me, but I don't know what her story is. I'm thinking of doing a one-sentence meme on my original fiction just to get to know the characters better and figure out what I want to say.

Posted my first BSG fic at bsg_kink and smut_tuesdays. You should check out both comms if you haven't yet. They are wonderful.

I wish I had a frakking paid account so I could have more userpics. I have to figure out which one(s) to drop so I can get at least one for Battlestar. I'm wavering between Starbuck and Roslin, but I think it'll have to be Starbuck. She's my girl.

Tell me about your day, flist.

I'M HOME!

Back in Michigan, sleeping next to the Lake. It's glorious.

I have accomplished basically nothing--now that my mom works away from home there's not really anyone to wake me up and tell me to do things. So I've started watching Battlestar Galactica. I'm literally only on the second episode (but I watched the miniseries too) and I'm already hooked. The fact that my LJ friends have been going crazy over it forever probably pushed me in that direction, but it's also just because I love it.

I cut off all my hair today. I mean, not all of it, but over 10 inches. I did the same thing in 6th, 9th and 12th grades. Generally it had been every three years, but this time it's only two--I was just ready for it. Each time I donate it to Locks of Love. I'll get pictures up eventually. We took a "before" shot right before I went to the hairdresser too--so it's immediate before/after.

My aunt and uncle are living with us now, which kind of sucks because I don't get my old room (aka the room I've lived in since there was tape on the floor dividing my side from my sister's). But they're cool--my uncle's completely insane, but cool.

Anyway, my mom, aunt, and I are all getting skinny. That's the plan. If we lose 15 pounds in 8 weeks, we get a pedicure. If we lose 20, we get a manicure too. And they're basically relying on me to keep them on track, which is probably good for me because I'm not the best at doing it myself. But my mom and I went to a spinning class at a new gym yesterday and it was super fun. My asthma was not okay with it for a little while, but I calmed her down and made it through. I'll probably go to the spinning class three times a week and maybe also do kickboxing, because I took it a long time ago and really liked it. And maybe I'll start doing the Yogilates after spinning when I'm ready. Hooray!

(Also, I probably lost some weight just by cutting off my hair, which is probably cheating. :) )

LOVE you, internets.