olaf47: (sunset)
[personal profile] olaf47
Title: Cupid is fucking irresponsible (3/4)
Fandom: Glee
Characters/Pairing: Santana Lopez, Rachel Berry, Noah Puckerman, Santana/Rachel, Puck/Rachel, Santana/Puck, Santana/Rachel/Puck
Rating: R for language, discussions of sex
Spoilers: None.
Summary: The next time they all hang out, even Sam notices something’s off between the girls, and he’s kind of oblivious to most things.
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine. The words are.
A/N: Third of four parts. First part, second part. Title from poet Rudy Francisco.

The next time they all hang out, even Sam notices something’s off between the girls, and he’s kind of oblivious to most things.

As soon as Santana comes in, pushing the front door that they keep unlocked open without knocking, Rachel abruptly stops talking. She was saying something about some musical—none of the boys could tell you, really; they’ve learned to just tune her out. But Santana shows up and Rachel goes silent. No one really notices at first, they’re too busy saying hello, which, with Santana, means slinging insults at each other. With Puck, though, who is slouching in a corner of the couch, she slides her hands over his shoulders and across his chest from behind, says, “Hey,” directly into his ear, a little breathlessly. Even he looks surprised. Santana doesn’t so much as glance as Rachel, just gets a beer from the fridge and drops herself on the floor between Puck’s legs.

Everyone settles back in to watch the rest of the Buckeyes’ game. Something seems off, though. They may be good at not really listening to Rachel, but they always hear her. When there is no background soundtrack of her babbling, they get confused. Mike’s the first one to offer her another beer, which she primly declines. Santana wraps a hand around Puck’s calf.

A few minutes later Rachel sighs. Santana’s grip tightens. For the remainder of the third quarter, Santana gets more blatant every time Rachel lets out a heavy breath.

When both of Santana’s hands are constantly massaging Puck’s calves, Rachel finally huffs and heads to the kitchen. Sam looks after her then turns to Santana, who has let her hands fall around Puck’s ankles, and says, “What’s up with her?”

She shrugs without taking her eyes off the television.

“Uh oh,” he says.

She whips her head toward him. “What?”

Both of his hands go up in surrender, but when she turns back to the commercial break, all three boys shared a wide-eyed look. Puck shakes her hands off when she tries to sneak them up to his thighs. He lets her keep them gentle around his ankles, though, can’t shrug away her touch completely.

When Rachel comes back, she’s talking about musicals again without pausing for breath, and the boys all feel a little better. Santana leaves before the game’s over.


When Puck shows up at her apartment the next day, Santana drags him to her bed and he lets her.

He tries for slow, hands stroking her sides gently. She rolls her eyes and flips them over. Straddling him, she grabs his hands and holds them to her hips.

“Hold on.”

He does.

After, he keeps his shoulder against hers, as much cuddling as he figures she’ll allow.

“Could you and Rachel make up, please?” he says.

She stiffens. “What the fuck?”

“You can use me to fuck the anger out any time, but I’d rather that not be how Rachel and my’s first time goes, okay?” he says. “God, I didn’t even know you liked each other, but now that you’re fighting, you’re both so fucking pissy I can’t handle it.”

She rolls away from him and starts putting her clothes back on.

“I’m serious, Santana.”

She scoffs and he wonders if she realizes she’s proving his point.


Their pumpkin patch date arrives before the girls have made up, but both of them are too stubborn to do anything but go. Neither of them says anything the entire car trip there. Puck’s not worried, though. Their trip to the pumpkin patch has never failed to turn Santana into a giddy fool, and this year doesn’t disappoint. The moment she steps out of the car, she can’t stop smiling. He buys her a caramel apple before they even head for the field, and she kisses him on the cheek. It’s the first genuine kiss he’s gotten in a week. Even Rachel laughs at Santana’s enthusiasm.

“I like fall, okay?” Santana is too excited to even pull off sounding defensive.

She moans as she crunches into the apple, and both Puck and Rachel look away.

The day just keeps getting better until, by the time their on the hayride back with their pumpkins in their laps, it’s not just Santana who has troubling keeping a grin off of her face. Rachel hasn’t stopped smiling since Santana asked her opinion on which was the better of the two pumpkins she picked out. A smile breaks across Puck’s face, too, as he sits, Santana pressed tightly against one side, and Rachel’s arm looped through his on the other.

Santana pays for her pumpkin first, and after Rachel and Puck buy theirs and load them into a cart, they have to look around a bit before they find her, bitching at the teenager selling kettle corn for giving her lip.

“I just wanted to know if it was vegan, Jesus,” she says as she takes the bag. Spotting them, she says, “Seriously, I was not this bitchy when we were her age.”

Puck cracks up at that, and he’s pretty sure the only reason Rachel doesn’t is because she’s busy being all wooed by the fact that Santana not only remembered but actually took into account her dietary restrictions.

Santana glares at him as she holds the kettle corn out in Rachel’s direction. “Even though Puck’s being an ass right now and Rachel, you were a total fuckwad last weekend, I’m fucking both of you because I have feelings for both of you.”

Leave it to Santana to dance around it all afternoon and end up just being blunt about the whole thing.

Some mom gives them a scandalized look, and Puck thinks about asking her why that’s something she wouldn’t want her children to do—sleep with people they have feelings for. It’s better than sleeping with people they don’t have feelings for, right?

Rachel is frozen with her hand in the bag of kettle corn, staring at Santana. She says, “Fuckwad?” and giggles, but when Santana glares at her, she immediately continues, “I know, and I apologize. Normally I am very accustomed to discussing emotions in regard to a relationship. I believe our attempt at such a conversation went so poorly because we both were nervous that the other felt no emotions of the relationship sort. But we needn’t have worried—you have already, albeit somewhat crudely, admitted feelings, and I also have them.”

The corners of Santana’s mouth curl up at Rachel’s tendency to get verbose when she’s nervous, and Puck can see her biting her lip so she doesn’t show her teeth and outright beam.

“As awesome as it is to be the third wheel to this lesbian lecture, can we—”

“Shut up, Noah,” Rachel admonishes and Santana laughs. “I said I had the same feelings—for both of you.”

“I’m such a pimp,” he says immediately. When both girls just stare at him, he amends, “I mean, I love you two and all, but come on—I land the two hottest girls in the East Village? Totally pimpin’.”

Rachel turns bright red and Santana just smirks. He realizes what he said, rolls his eyes and says, “Like you didn’t know,” because, really. He first told Santana he loved her in eighth grade, and he’s been chasing Rachel since sophomore year. It’s pretty obvious by now how he feels about them.

Santana puts her pumpkin on top of theirs in the cart and starts toward the car. Puck shrugs at Rachel and follows, pushing the cart.

Date: 2011-10-16 11:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smc-27.livejournal.com
Therein lies the problem in any threesome between two women and a dude: Women are catty. Of course they hold grudges.

But the pumpkin patch, though, and Puck being all happy in the middle of the Santana and Rachel sandwich. I thought it was hilarious that he just blurted out that he loved both of them and Rachel was acting all clueless, or at least bashful about it. (Like, honey, you're about to engage in a threesome with these two; don't blush now...)

This is making no sense but I've been taking pills all day so let's blame that.

Date: 2011-10-16 11:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likebrightness.livejournal.com
Puck has loved them long enough he forgets it a big deal.

Enjoy the drugs.


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